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suffering

We Are Suffering.

The world loves a person who speaks loudly and shows no doubt. Just take a look at what is going on in our political arena right now.

We want to follow someone who seems to have answers, seems to know. I think, secretly, we all long for answers to the uncertain things in life. Maybe, just maybe, there is that one person out there who really does know.

However, the answer never lies outside and there is never one solution that fits all.

The answers are always within!

Whether it’s about our relationships, attitudes, diets, spirituality, actions, way of life, or whatever. The answer is unique to you.

So it becomes an exercise of willingness, openness, introspection, and personal responsibility. (A good therapist, who asks the right questions, can help).

We try so hard to make sense of our humanity, our weaknesses, fears, doubts and hopes. Wanting to make sense of life. Always striving for strength of character, strength in front of others and within, looking like we are having fun. The hard part is that our lives just aren’t that simple.

Life is deep and mystical. Mysterious yet straightforward, complex yet simplistic, full of hope yet full of despair….Life is the greatest paradox.

We will never completely understand it.

Through the millennium many great minds have tried to analyze it, pick it apart….. only to find more questions.

And that’s ok.

We can never fully know ourselves or one another; we are as mysterious as the universe. We are so much more than what can be seen and heard. Our words can never fully convey what lies within.

The best we can do is work on the things that are essential to our happiness and leave the rest. Sometimes we wrestle with fears and frustrations, but if they don’t make a huge difference in our big picture, we can simply set those things aside.

One of my fears is to go under water. Diving under a wave or even just jumping in the deep end, that so many people enjoy, is torture for me. Some deep primal panic takes a hold of me on those rare occasions when it does happen. I’ve looked at it enough to recognize that it doesn’t significantly change who I am and how I feel about life, so I let it be.

The important parts, however, like my relationships, who I want to be in life, my spirituality….those deserve my full attention. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction can end up being the biggest step in our lives. Sometimes we need to do more.

Recently, seemingly, from out of nowhere, I found myself hopeless. I had lost my faith in God. Everywhere I looked, people are struggling and suffering, animals are being mistreated, children are dying and I noticed all the pain everywhere. My own father, nearing the end of his life is in agonizing pain. I felt helpless, wondering who’s really in charge? Why all this pain? Life looked grim and pointless.

THIS needed my attention!

We can try to be present to ourselves and another, but within each of us there is a shapeless, shifting, deep inner being that is unknown even to ourselves.

So we often don’t recognize that we are suffering. We are simply doing, drinking, eating, talking, sleeping, gambling….. too much. We have no balance.

At times, when things happen to us….. losing a loved one, being confronted with something previously unimaginable or perpetual struggles with issues….. we just crumble. The turmoil of life, after many years on this earth, can bring with it an exhaustion so deep, like the pull of the moon on the tides, we cannot ignore or push aside.

Maybe our lives are not what we had hoped they’d be. We grieve the losses, the hopes, the dreams.

What I know for sure in all this, is that:

  • love and kindness toward ourselves and others, heals.

  • Receiving is as great an act of love as giving!

  • We must trust in a higher power.

Somehow, given enough time and willingness, we can regain some of our energy, find answers, hope and the courage to go on. That is our built in survival instinct.

However, I wish I had a magic wand to take all the darkness away and leave only sunshine.

Here is another good article: https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/05/17/how-to-stop-suffering-from-painful-emotions/

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