By Tiffany Compton:
What’s wrong? Don’t cry. Don’t be sad. Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about. Geez! You’re so sensitive! What’s the matter with you? Just focus on something else. It’s not as bad as you think. Go start a gratitude journal.
Help someone else and stop thinking about yourself. You must not be spiritual enough. You’re not trying hard enough. This is your fault. You’re a bad person, and this is why you feel this way. You brought this on yourself. You really aren’t sad. You’re just feeling sorry for yourself.
You are so selfish. You think you have it bad? Other people have it worse than you. You don’t have any reason to feel that way. Stop it! I’m sick of this!!! Enough of the drama already! You are seriously fucked up. You make me sick. Just smile and you’ll feel better. Think better, and you’ll feel better. Act better, and you’ll feel better. There’s something wrong with you. If you did what I told you, you wouldn’t be feeling this way. Just pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Fake it ‘til you make it.
You know what I have to say to this? It’s all bunch of shit! I am so fucking sick of being told feeling sad or depressed is wrong or bad and needs to be fixed.
I’m so fucking sick of telling myself that there’s something wrong with my feelings and that I need an attitude adjustment.
I’m so fucking sick of people treating sadness as if it’s leprosy and anyone dealing with sadness needs to be shunned for fear that they will catch it like it’s some contagious disease.
All of my feelings are valid, even my sadness.
How does sadness feel when it is shamed? I’ll tell you how my sadness feels when she’s shamed. More sad. It doesn’t help to shame feelings. It doesn’t help to tell feelings that they need to go away because they are bad.
Feelings aren’t bad or good. They just are. Just like the weather isn’t bad or good, right or wrong. It’s just weather. The rain is just as important as the sun.
I’m sick of shaming my feelings. I’m sick of telling my feelings what they need to do and how they need to change because they’re wrong or bad. I’m sick of not having all of myself and my feelings being welcome. All my feelings are welcome and valid. I’m not shaming my feelings anymore.
You know what my sad feelings are getting? Love! I’m throwing sadness a party. I’m celebrating her. She’s important too. She’s going to be indulged with decadence. Not out of fear, but out of love.
She’s going to be swept away to get a massage, a nice stroll on the beach, and a dip in the ocean. She is getting a luxurious time at the salon, having her hair washed, cut, and dried. She is going to be draped in a gorgeous party dress and taking out to celebrate with her friends. We are all going to sit around the dinner table toasting to her value and beauty.
Sadness is important. She has gifts. She is just as equally worthy of love and gratitude and joy. Sadness doesn’t need put downs or scolding. She doesn’t need to be told to change or that there something wrong with her. She wants and needs to be celebrated just as much as the other feelings that rise and fall within me.
So, yeah, sadness is going out in style. No more put downs. No more forcing. No more rushing. No more gas-lighting. No more blaming. No more of any of that shit.
Sadness is worthy. Sadness is important. Sadness has value. Sadness has gifts. She deserves a long overdue celebration where all of her tears are praised, loved, and appreciated.
Sadness and I are getting reacquainted with each other. I am making amends to her, and we are starting fresh. It’s the start of a new friendship that will become one of the most beautiful love affairs of my life.
I love my sadness, and she’s getting a big hug and a kiss from me. If feels good. This is something we both been missing a very long time. This is the path to heaven.
Here’s a great book to help understand this: http://amzn.to/2wlGy9L
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